Thanksgiving time

Our family just got back from my Grandma's memorial service. It was a good family experience, we shared Thanksgiving dinner together and remembered my Grandma together. I am sure most people think along these lines on occasions like these, but my sister and I both have been thinking about what a wonderful person grandma was, and it makes us wonder how are we investing our lives. It is a good, thought provoking question.

While we were in western Oklahoma, we also visited the old farm, and.... cut down our Christmas tree! We used to have the tradition of cutting our own tree when we lived in Wyoming, but it's been years since we've done that. But this year, we ransacked Walmart for a saw. Then we cut this fragrant cedar tree and tied it on the jeep. It's always more fun to have a tree that has some history like this one.

Now it really feels like we're in the Christmas season! I love it!

Rachellium

My Christmas present from my sister last year was this amazing game called Rachellium. She invented it, made all of the pieces out of bottle caps and paper clips, and wrote all of the cards: humming, acting, drawing, and imitating the sound. But I've rarely gotten to play this marvelous game because I am rarely home.

However, for the holidays and my Grandma's memorial service, we have my aunts and cousin in town. So tonight we played. It was great fun, lots of laughs, and louder yelling than is ever allowed in the house. I don't think I realized how important it is to have a place where you can "let your hair down" so to speak. The place to let it all out, the place to be silly without it being embarrassing. But it is important to laugh, to feel free, to run around the living room acting like a skunk, to try and make the sound duct tape makes. I'm just so glad to be laughing again. Now it feels like I'm really home.

At Home

Thank you to everyone who has been praying for me these last days and weeks. And now I am happily at home enjoying warm showers and home cooking.

It was such a difficult decision to leave Colombia, but I believe the right one. Our ministry, and my life, got to a point where it wasn't sustainable. The lifestyle just consumes; and I left depleted emotionally, physically, financially. When I could see that nothing was going to be made better by staying longer, for me or the ministry, I decided it was time to go.

I am home indefinitely, to get redirection, to hear from God, and to just live life. A major thing lacking in my Colombian life was not having relationships with people outside of our YWAM base. So, for now I hope to continue studying and learning, but at the same time develop relationship and friendships. It's a new phase in life. Changes such as these always come with a bit of pain, but also some excitement to see what things this adventure will bring.

In Need of Prayer

I have some huge decisions to make and am feeling the pressure. Please pray for guidance. With much love,

Rachel

Homecoming

I've got about 46 days and 08 hours until I arrive in the states once again. I have this widget on my computer that is counting down. Every year I start listening to Christmas music earlier in anticipation of being at home. Those old Amy Grant songs hold memories of so many tree decoratings and fudge tastings. The melody takes me straight to those times.

But I'm at a loss to tell you where my home really is. Driving into Medellin always feels like coming home. But being with my family, that feels like home too. I value home so much that it's a crisis to not have a straight answer when people ask "Where do you call home?"

But then another song, not about Christmas, comes to mind. Steven says "Keep on looking ahead. Let your heart not forget: we are not home yet." The crisis isn't that I don't have a home, it's that I'm looking for a place to call home in the wrong place. We have a home that's coming, and let's not get too comfy until then.

Note to self: In the mean time what do I do? Answer: love God and cut out anything that's getting in the way of that.

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Us girls are having a blast living together. Really, I think this is the best roommate situation I've ever been in. We enjoy each other and talk about everything. We laugh and cry together, and thankful we laugh more than we cry. And we are making plans as well.

Mayer is looking for a place for her and the two girls to live. The babies' grandma will take care of the girls and Mayer through the last month of pregnancy and the first months afterwards. It's exciting to see here planning for her future, but also please pray that all of this works out. And that she continues with minimal complications.

That was quick

... yes, it was. I am now single... again. After spending more time together Hector and I realized we were not there for each other the way we had imagined. Without some significant changes, this is not the kind of married relationship we would want. So we are leaving that phase of our life behind.

These are a lot of changes for me right now in almost every area of my life. I'm really learning that "in our weakness he is strong."

God, when our vision gets fuzzy and the path isn't clear, remind us of your love and care, and guide us back to the path. Amen

Reflection

Oswald Chambers writes:

The key to the missionary's work is the authority of Jesus Christ, not the needs of the lost

That's comforting and puts me in my place at the same time. I like to meet needs. But whenever life seems to be getting more difficult, more complicated than before, it's probably because I have that wrong. It's probably because I'm responding to needs and not looking solely towards the authority of Jesus Christ. Because it's life: it's always complicated and there are always difficult situations. That doesn't change much. But God's authority is over us in whatever circumstance, and that never changes either.


P.S. I highly recommend that everyone read "My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers